Today I wrote two blog posts at the Times of Israel and wrote four blog posts for a paid client. I spent two hours wandering around on the beach, another hour walking Gali to the bus stop, waiting with her at the bus stop and then walking home the long way. In total I’ve written about 4,000 words today and best of all (by which I mean worst) I managed to start the day by releasing embargoed information on the Times of Israel Facebook group. All in all it’s been weird.

I know why things are so weird. It’s because the army has had such a terrible day in Gaza. You see at the start of all of this I was happy not to have been called up with the big enlistment of reserves. But now I’m thinking that the only thing worse than being called is not being called.

I keep looking around me at people on the streets, in cafes, eating their salads, drinking their coffees. There is a war on right now. Soldiers in the IDF are fighting and dying inthat hell hole Gaza and here in Tel Aviv life is exactly the same as it was before. This dissonance is killing me but ironically those soldiers are fighting and dying precisely so that people in Tel Aviv can sit in cafes and eat their salads and drink their coffee.

I can’t even watch the television anymore it’s just endless members of Knesset, analysts, retired military men and pundits going on and on about what might happen, what is happening, why it’s happening, what needs to happen next. I remember watching a zombie film where two scientists were endlessly debating the cause of the zombie plague and what was happening. Their endless debate became more and more surreal as the world around them collapsed.

I don’t know what victory looks like in Gaza. I know that the Prime Minister has spoken about destroying the Hamas stockpile of weapons and the tunnel system they have built that leads into Israel. Now the IDF is operating in the built up areas of Gaza. I know that for Hamas the bar for victory is so low that merely firing a rocket successfully or kidnapping a soldier is all they need to do to claim it.

I have no idea how we’ll be able to claim victory from all of this. In the meantime all I’m doing is sitting here at home, watching it unfold on television. Waiting for it to end. Powerless and blogging.