Friday, 31 December 2010
So my internet friends and enemies and perhaps even a few birds I have attempted to snog over the years. I am lying on my deep blue couch at 5:42 precisely watching the latest Adam Sandler flick and feeling kinda contemplative. Perhaps it's the fact that I saw 2 of my friends get married tonight/last night (forever) or maybe it's the affect of all the booze I drank at the wedding or perhaps it's the fact that I can't help losing at poker and have been since I got home. Maybe it's a combination of all 3.
Thing is I am 31 years old and the wedding season has started for me. Spent a while hearing other people tell me about the amount of weddings they have and feeling a bit left out of all of that stuff. Now I have loads of weddings and am feeling left out cos...well...everyone's getting married now aren't they?
Mind you don't take me too seriously, you see there are some people who are always happy and others who are always looking on the bad side and people, lets face I am indeed one of those people looking on the bad side. Hell, if I didn't do that there wouldn't be a whole helluva lot to write about.
So the thing is I don't think that I'm single on purpose but then I also don't think I am single by accident. I think that lots of people my age who are single are petrified that this is the way they are going to stay. A fear made worse by being forced to constantly watch our best (and worst) friends get married and start the whole new chapter of their lives together. So...it's kind of a contradiction because obviously I am happy for them and clearly they are really relieved to finally have it confirmed that they aren't on the shelf and really I'm just worried about myself.
Funny thing is though, I know I'm not alone, in fact I see loads of you other miserable bastards at every wedding I go to...all of us wondering why on earth we're still single and all of us probably blaming ourselves for the fact that we're alone and maybe doomed to spend the rest of our lives alone. which kind of makes me feel better, cos I guess if there really are loads of us loners, then we're not really alone at all.
Thursday, 16 December 2010
Thursday, 9 December 2010
I am awake before I hear the knock but only just. Who could it possibly be? Wondering the question doesn’t answer it, so I shout the contents of my mind to the steel door on the other side of which seem sthe stranger intent on speaking to me. “Marc Goldberg?” “Who is this?” I repeat, unwilling to trade a piece of information before receiving any myself. “Marc Goldberg?” then he says my full address, there is no number on the door and technically speaking the number of the apartment doesn’t correspond to my apartment so he must have known where to look for me.
I open the door while preparing myself for a fight. I appraise the man standing before me. He is around 6” tall and fit, good looking guy with close cropped hair and olive skin. It will be hard for me to take him on but then, if I have to the aggression would certainly make him regret coming to me even if at the end of it all he is the last one standing.
“I’m in your reserve army unit, you were supposed to come do your reserve duty in July but you never showed up. I thought I would drop down on you before they sent in the military police to come pick you up. Military police? This is a setup, it has to be. No one from the army was in touch with me. Not before I was in touch with them to volunteer my services. This guy is playing an angle, he’s looking to make some kind of a score here. My mood turns from perplexed to aggressive and my stance shifts, fists clench.
His eyebrows raise, “listen I am from your army unit, I’ll get the officer in charge of calling people on the phone and you can talk to her.” I lighten up ever so slightly, if he’s playing an angle he’s getting there in a roundabout way. He puts the officer on speaker. “You’ll never guess who I’m standing in front of right now” “Nu” “Marc Goldberg” “Shut up! Seriously?” “Uh huh talk to him”. So now I hear a snotty 21 year old officer tell me that I missed a reserve duty 6 months previously and they have been looking for me ever since. The words Military Police, Police and courts martial are callously thrown around. I have stepped into the pages of Catch 22. According to the army it’s my fault that they failed to get in touch with me to notify me that I had reserve duty and now I have to appear before a court martial to explain why. In my head I know that there is no way that is going to happen.
She irritates me, she has put me in this mess through her own ineptitude. Now I am supposed to pay the price for their incompetence. The phone call finishes with her telling me to cal her the next morning. I have no intention of making the call. The call over me and the stranger are standing face to face in my doorway. Me in my T Shirt and shorts, staring at each other the tension hanging in the air. “Well I can see that you are...” his voice trails off. “I’m gonna go now” “Okay” I say watching him turn his back.