Well it appears that the inevitable has happened, I thought that I would be able to avoid it, but I was wrong, I thought that there were somethings that Israel simply wouldn't stoop to but I was wrong.
Yes
That's right
Big Brother has come to Israel.
For crying out loud, now I get to watch another bunch of raving lunatics arguing with each other 24/7. It's crazy and they love it out here people!
Anyway moving swiftly on, I have got myself out of that dump the Hilton and am now stayign in my friends palatial apartment on his fold out bed, much better!
Went to a gig the other day in a tiny bar on King George V street, they were pretty good and I felt terribly Israeli being amongst all these...well...Israelis.
After the gig a stand up comic....well....stood up and started doing his thing, then he goes "Is anyone in the audience a combat soldier?" A kid from Giva'ati put his hand up and the guy goes "Wow man I'm really sorry to hear that cos I don't want you to die" The room went into a deafening silence and I was sitting there wonderign what the hell this guy was trying to say, in the end he went on for a while longer and saved himself with another gag but it was a crazy thing for him to say.
I now have two friends out here who have officially been driven nuts by their army experiences, one of them is off to see the army shrik today and the other has already been removed from combat ops....
Wednesday, 26 November 2008
Sunday, 23 November 2008
Blogging Tel Aviv
Here I am back in the Holy Land, the weather is good and the beautiful people are out in full force.
Terminal 5 didn't lose my luggage and BA's little ickle TV screen kept me occupied for the trip and for those doubters amongst you I have to tell you all right off the bat that Tropic Thunder is a good film!
I figured I would get on the plane for the night flight, sleep the whole way and arrive in Israel at 5:30 am ready to actually do stuff, unfortunately, Ami from Kiryat Motzkin had other ideas and insisted on letting me know about his six years in Philidelphia, his American wife and other events of his life for three hours of my trip until I escaped into the relative quiet of Tropic Thunder.
Picked up my bags without a problem, got to the hotel by cab (trains not working on Shabbat) my arrival at 7 in the morning was greeted with the good news that my stay at the hotel had already been paid for and the bad news that I couldn't check in until 11 am. The girl behind the desk was a cutie and let me check in there and then and leave my bags behind.
Check in involves giving a credit card for them to run in case I ordered things to my room not covered in the pre paid limit. I handed my card over with the knowledge that I had already maxed it out, when that didn't work I handed over my John Lewis store card just for fun (that didn't work either)
This wasn't a problem the girl assured me, all I had to do was hand over 270 pounds cash for them to hold in their safe. I obliged. Leaving myself precisely 30 pounds cash for the next four days.
I left my bags and went to the beach in an attempt to figure out what the hell to do with myself for the next four hours. I texted a couple of friends to let them know that I had arrived though I didn't expect any replies from them at 7 am on a saturday morning so I just decided to wander around the city for a while.
First stop was my old apartment building on rehov Ben Yehuda, number 182 to be precise. Or was it 184? I figured I would just walk down there and that I would just recognise the building when I saw it.
Nope
To my consternation I realised that couldn't even remember what my old home looked like. Later on when discussing this with Yuval he said it was probably because I was so stoned whenever I was there that it's impressive I even remember what street it was on. This didn't provide me much comfort though, how could I forget what the building looked like?
I decided to write my first blog posting and so moved off on Dizengoff towards the Dizengoff centre, where there is a massive internet cafe that I used to go to. When I arrived I found that it had transformed into an electrical goods store. It appears that Tel Aviv hadn't stopped and waited for my return.
On my way back towards the hotel I wandered past that funky pasta place on the corner of Dizegoff and Frishman which allows you to create your own sauce and toppings and then cooks it in front of you. Of course it isn't there anymore either and is now an upmarket shwarma place.
I went to a boreka place and sat there for a few hours reading the Jerusalem Post and Haaretz weekend edtitions. They were full of talk about upcoming elections. What struck me most is the extent to which there is no change of government here just a change in job for various ministers as the balance of power is slightly changed in the post election period. The people running the country don't change they just change position.
With that wonderfully uplifting morning over I wandered back to the hotel, picked up my key and jumped on my bed, closed my eyes and drifted off to dream of the phone ringing, no I wasn't dreaming the phone was really ringing. It was Yuval and an invitation to an early lunch or a late breakfast. I hadn't slept for over 24 hours but fuck it I'm on holiday.
I ran over to his place and jmped in the car with him and his girl to eat at a place on Rothschild, that in my day was called La Central and was a funky piano bar but is now a 24 hour place that serves only breakfasts.
After that I left the soldier we nicknamed Baby to his law studies and went back to the Hotel for some sleep.
Awaking at 7:30 in the evening I went downstairs to eat, the sushi resaurant, Yakimono, is in the lobby and is a favourite of mine. I ate in there and noticed with pleasant surprise that the prices compare favourably with London, were, in fact slightly cheaper. Which is why I was especially knocked back when a bill came for 300 NIS (50 squid) it turned out that the prices in the menu were in dollars not sheckels and the price really did not compare particularly well with London.
Went out that night with Roni, cool girl, had a couple of drinks till midnight after which she dropped me off at the apartment of another friend from the army about whom I'll chat in the next instalment of my adventures in the Holy Land.
Terminal 5 didn't lose my luggage and BA's little ickle TV screen kept me occupied for the trip and for those doubters amongst you I have to tell you all right off the bat that Tropic Thunder is a good film!
I figured I would get on the plane for the night flight, sleep the whole way and arrive in Israel at 5:30 am ready to actually do stuff, unfortunately, Ami from Kiryat Motzkin had other ideas and insisted on letting me know about his six years in Philidelphia, his American wife and other events of his life for three hours of my trip until I escaped into the relative quiet of Tropic Thunder.
Picked up my bags without a problem, got to the hotel by cab (trains not working on Shabbat) my arrival at 7 in the morning was greeted with the good news that my stay at the hotel had already been paid for and the bad news that I couldn't check in until 11 am. The girl behind the desk was a cutie and let me check in there and then and leave my bags behind.
Check in involves giving a credit card for them to run in case I ordered things to my room not covered in the pre paid limit. I handed my card over with the knowledge that I had already maxed it out, when that didn't work I handed over my John Lewis store card just for fun (that didn't work either)
This wasn't a problem the girl assured me, all I had to do was hand over 270 pounds cash for them to hold in their safe. I obliged. Leaving myself precisely 30 pounds cash for the next four days.
I left my bags and went to the beach in an attempt to figure out what the hell to do with myself for the next four hours. I texted a couple of friends to let them know that I had arrived though I didn't expect any replies from them at 7 am on a saturday morning so I just decided to wander around the city for a while.
First stop was my old apartment building on rehov Ben Yehuda, number 182 to be precise. Or was it 184? I figured I would just walk down there and that I would just recognise the building when I saw it.
Nope
To my consternation I realised that couldn't even remember what my old home looked like. Later on when discussing this with Yuval he said it was probably because I was so stoned whenever I was there that it's impressive I even remember what street it was on. This didn't provide me much comfort though, how could I forget what the building looked like?
I decided to write my first blog posting and so moved off on Dizengoff towards the Dizengoff centre, where there is a massive internet cafe that I used to go to. When I arrived I found that it had transformed into an electrical goods store. It appears that Tel Aviv hadn't stopped and waited for my return.
On my way back towards the hotel I wandered past that funky pasta place on the corner of Dizegoff and Frishman which allows you to create your own sauce and toppings and then cooks it in front of you. Of course it isn't there anymore either and is now an upmarket shwarma place.
I went to a boreka place and sat there for a few hours reading the Jerusalem Post and Haaretz weekend edtitions. They were full of talk about upcoming elections. What struck me most is the extent to which there is no change of government here just a change in job for various ministers as the balance of power is slightly changed in the post election period. The people running the country don't change they just change position.
With that wonderfully uplifting morning over I wandered back to the hotel, picked up my key and jumped on my bed, closed my eyes and drifted off to dream of the phone ringing, no I wasn't dreaming the phone was really ringing. It was Yuval and an invitation to an early lunch or a late breakfast. I hadn't slept for over 24 hours but fuck it I'm on holiday.
I ran over to his place and jmped in the car with him and his girl to eat at a place on Rothschild, that in my day was called La Central and was a funky piano bar but is now a 24 hour place that serves only breakfasts.
After that I left the soldier we nicknamed Baby to his law studies and went back to the Hotel for some sleep.
Awaking at 7:30 in the evening I went downstairs to eat, the sushi resaurant, Yakimono, is in the lobby and is a favourite of mine. I ate in there and noticed with pleasant surprise that the prices compare favourably with London, were, in fact slightly cheaper. Which is why I was especially knocked back when a bill came for 300 NIS (50 squid) it turned out that the prices in the menu were in dollars not sheckels and the price really did not compare particularly well with London.
Went out that night with Roni, cool girl, had a couple of drinks till midnight after which she dropped me off at the apartment of another friend from the army about whom I'll chat in the next instalment of my adventures in the Holy Land.
Wednesday, 5 November 2008
A New World
When I watched an aeroplane fly into the twin towers I was painfully aware of the fact that I was not watching merely the collapse of a building, not even just the deaths of all those people but the destruction of the entire world as I knew it. I was aware that from that moment on my life had changed and that the effects of the atrocity would be felt across the planet. From the tragedy of that moment has arisen another incredible moment which I am privileged enough to be in a position to bare witness to.
The election of Barack Obama is important not because of the colour of his skin but the principles that he represents. To have a man dedicted to diplomacy over militancy, intelligence over mindless action and freedom over tyranny.
The new head of the free world has much work to do, with the economic collapse which will undoubtedly get worse before it gets better, a foreign policy which has made the USA appear to be nothing more than an aggressive oaf trampling over the very rights that it claims to represent. He will be walking through a minefield when it comes to Iraq and Afghanistan let us hope simply that he makes the decisions which will improve the stability of the free world while preventing the evils that have so infected our society to continue to prevail, to kill and to continue with their campaign to destroy our way of life.
Today I stand hopeful that the world will once again change but change for the better, today I expect President elect Obama to celebrate but tommorrow I will be watching him carefully in the hope that he does in fact turn out to be the President that his rhetoric has convinced the majority of American citizens he will be.
The election of Barack Obama is important not because of the colour of his skin but the principles that he represents. To have a man dedicted to diplomacy over militancy, intelligence over mindless action and freedom over tyranny.
The new head of the free world has much work to do, with the economic collapse which will undoubtedly get worse before it gets better, a foreign policy which has made the USA appear to be nothing more than an aggressive oaf trampling over the very rights that it claims to represent. He will be walking through a minefield when it comes to Iraq and Afghanistan let us hope simply that he makes the decisions which will improve the stability of the free world while preventing the evils that have so infected our society to continue to prevail, to kill and to continue with their campaign to destroy our way of life.
Today I stand hopeful that the world will once again change but change for the better, today I expect President elect Obama to celebrate but tommorrow I will be watching him carefully in the hope that he does in fact turn out to be the President that his rhetoric has convinced the majority of American citizens he will be.
Sunday, 2 November 2008
Sex Factor Favourites
Ok people after several discussions with my flatmates I have decided that I would most like to spend the night with the Spanish Diva, then Dannii Minogue, then the cute little Diana Vickers followed lastly by Cheryl
My friend (who refuses to be named for various reasons) disagrees and argues that Diana Vickers is the only bird for him and refuses to consider the concept of sh*gging any of the other birds
Dave agrees and says that Diana is instantly the most f**kable followed by Cheryl although; "she is very skinny "and it would in fact be a close call with Danni whose nose is apparantly too big, followed by the Spanish bird who would be a mile behind
Benicio argues that Dannii is his number one, then cheryl, the Spanish bird and then blondie
Dazlo goes with Danni then Cheryl then blondie then the Spanish bird
which brings us to the surprising conclusion that Cheryl in fact isn't the most sh*gable woman on the show but that Dannii is!!!
My friend (who refuses to be named for various reasons) disagrees and argues that Diana Vickers is the only bird for him and refuses to consider the concept of sh*gging any of the other birds
Dave agrees and says that Diana is instantly the most f**kable followed by Cheryl although; "she is very skinny "and it would in fact be a close call with Danni whose nose is apparantly too big, followed by the Spanish bird who would be a mile behind
Benicio argues that Dannii is his number one, then cheryl, the Spanish bird and then blondie
Dazlo goes with Danni then Cheryl then blondie then the Spanish bird
which brings us to the surprising conclusion that Cheryl in fact isn't the most sh*gable woman on the show but that Dannii is!!!
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